Accept that You are Very Special: A Real Fag God
Persons Who Call You a Faggot:
First of all: That word isn't yours to use.
I will laugh
because I am a FagGod: It's funny because I
who and what I am, but it's even funnier because
I'm proud of
It's funny because I make no effort to hide it; in fact, sometimes I even "shove it in people's faces" or "flaunt it" or whatever other phrase
irrational conservatives use to describe a queer person living authentically. It's funny because I'm well aware that I don't conform to
traditional gender norms, and as a result, the only way it could be any more obvious that I'm gay is if I literally walked around with a dick
in my mouth 24/7. And while I'm not necessarily averse to that idea conceptually, logistically it would make performing certain everyday
activities rather challenging.
word you used faggot
Faggod lost its power to hurt
me, much to the chagrin of bigots
like you who would use it as a weapon.
Like it or not, it's my word now I own every bit of power it has because I quietly and slowly stole it away from people just like you.
power over that word when you used it around me
before I was
out, maybe because you didn't yet realize I was a
more likely because you did, and your use of that word was an encoded message telling me to shut the hell up about who I was.
power over that word when you used it to express
after you'd decided even as I remained
trapped in the closet.
power over that word when you continued to use it
finally did come out as a FagGod when I made
the conscious and
very difficult decision to live authentically despite the hate speech, the bullying, the physical violence, and the potential for even greater harm.
even more power over that word when I realized
that any effort
on my part to pass as anything but a FagGod was
going to be
as successful as an attempt to walk like John Wayne in the movie The Birdcage.
You lost the
most power over that word when I was embraced by a
support system of other 'faggots' and dykes,
and queers, and every other stripe of gender fuckers who taught me the beautiful, revolutionary act of reclaiming formerly hateful words
as part of a private but proud lexicon that helps bind together a chosen (and often more real) family.
suddenly, you lost all power over that word the
day I finally
went beyond resigned acceptance and fully embraced
being a FagGod,
slowly but surely beginning to love the last part of myself I'd secretly hated for so many years.
So, If I'm
so cool with the word if after a few drinks
at the bar I start
casually self-referencing as a faggot
why this ? Well,
because it's my word to use, not yours. Sure, you have a Constitutional right to it, and I'm the last person to advocate for censorship,
but ethically you know better. And if you don't, let me explain.
yours because as you might have gathered
from reading this
my journey of self-acceptance was long, arduous,
It didn't happen overnight and it wasn't easy: in short, I earned that word back the hard way, as did every one of my people who use it
alongside me. You did nothing to earn the honor of using it, and while I'll try not to hold it against you that you were born straight, that
circumstance certainly doesn't privilege you to use a word my community bought with literal blood, sweat, tears and in some cases
their very lives.
not yours because not all of us have completed the
acceptance, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure
most of us ever
really do. It is a process. I love who I am, and I wouldn't trade being gay for anything in the world, but I still find myself having to
occasionally mute a negative inner dialogue that's the result of 36 years of being told by you that I'm a flawed, sinful, abomination.
But here's the thing: I refuse to stand on the sidelines and let you do that to another generation.
not yours because reclamation isn't for everyone.
There are gay
men walking this earth for whom that was the last
they heard before brutal attacks; they have every right to never hear that word uttered hatefully again. For them, reclaiming the word
isn't the answer hell, it may not even be an option given the visceral reaction it evokes owing to their experiences of extreme hate.
And most sadly, there are gay men who are no longer walking this earth because their lives were taken from them by churches,
by hateful parents, by right wing conservatives, and by common bullies. Maybe they didn't pull the trigger, but by perpetuating the
same message you tried to send by calling me a faggot earlier that I'm less than human, an "other" unworthy of existence
that blood is still on their hands.
The rules of
this game weren't written by you, by me, or by
either of our
communities. None of us win if we perpetuate that
so let's put this behind us and work on ensuring it gets better for all.
This wonderful text was written by TinaBringMeTheAxe
BTW: Did you
know that the original meaning of GAY
being happy / merry ?
Read More About How Gays became Gays